Secret Lives of Video Game Characters
by Mr. BramStoker
Summary: When the game consoles are offline and the systems are off, the game world itself comes to life in a society much like ours only the president is a certain guy named Wesker, a Hylian elf and a space fox are the police, dozens of various characters are running amok and you'll have to read for yourself to see what else is in store


**The Secret Lives of Video Game Characters**

 **I do not own any miscellaneous video games. This is a story that tells what if video games had a life of its own beyond our gaming system. Don't believe me? Read and find out**

 **Video Game City, Video Game States of America, USA**

 **Region: America**

 **Population: 1,999,000 KB and counting….**

 **President: Albert Ramses Wesker**

 **First Lady: Excella Alexandria Wesker**

 **Crime Boss: Gnasty Gnorc**

 **Town Hoodlum: The Joker**

 **Town Guardians: Chernabog and Batman**

 **Town Blacksmith: Kordac the Templar**

 **Town Mechanics: Nux and Slit and the War Boys**

 **Town Dealer: Moneybags the Bear**

 **Pest Control Exterminator: Gordon Freeman**

 **Town Patrol Officer: Mad Max Rockatansky**

 **Town Warlord: Immortan Joe**

 **Town Strongman: Rictus Erectus**

 **Town Martial Arts Instructor: Akira**

 **Town Jeweler: Maximillion Pegasus**

 **Barge Ship Employee: Vectorman**

 **Town Judge: Sephiroth**

 **Town Pimp: Julius Little**

 **Deathclaw Tamer/Pet Shop Owner: Patricia Tannis**

 **Town Ice Cream Truck Driver: Sweet Tooth**

 **Town Brothel Madame/Talk Show Hostess: Helga Katrina Sinclair**

 **Police Inspector: Carmelita Montoya Fox**

 **Town Drunk: Conker the Squirrel**

 **Police Commissioner: James Gordon**

 **Town Doctor: Dr. Zed**

 **Bartender: Miss Madeleine Moxxi**

 **Mayor: Mario Giovanni Giuseppe Mario**

 **Deputy Sheriff: Nisha Van Hart**

 **Sheriff: Fox McCloud**

 **Town Hero: Aela the Huntress**

 **Club Bouncer: Duke Nukem**

 **Crime Boss' Enforcer: King Koopa**

 **Town Psychic: Mewtwo**

 **Town Marshal: Sam Fisher**

 **Treasurer: Handsome Jack**

 **District Attorneys: Phoenix Wright and Harvey Two-Face**

 **Bodyguards for Hire: the Agency corporation**

"Ah, what a glorious day at my humble home! The Koopa Troopas are flying around, the flowers are blooming, the Pidgeotos are chirping, everything is awesome!" Aela the Huntress exclaimed cheerfully as she and her lifelong friend Constable Neyla relaxed  
/on 16-bit Beach and watched the Wave Racers go by

"Hey?" Neyla asked, Aela stirring from a short nap. "What?" Aela said. "You ever wonder what's out there? Beyond the city, beyond the land, what's out there, anyway?" Neyla asked, a hint of wonder and curiosity in her mind

"well… I think we should be careful what we wish for, because not everyone and everything in this world is exactly friendly. But, since Wesker is our President, we have unlimited defenses, I think we are all very much safe here" Aela responded

"True that, love. It's good to know we're all off on summer break, don't you know? Even us game characters need a vacation." Neyla commented, letting her soft purple fur get tanned as Spyro the Dragon made a soft landing on the sand.

"hey Aela, hey Neyla! What's up?" Spyro asked, his companion Sparx the Dragonfly buzzing for his life while being chased by a giant hermit crab. "Not much. How about you? How was your visit to Freddy's?" Neyla asked

"That was a total nightmare! But fortunately, the VG Police came and shut the place down. Oh and Shadow and Zer0 dropped a piano on Freddy's head, which means Gnasty Gnorc is now the new owner of the place" Spyro explained. "Guys, guys, guys! O to the  
/M to the golly G!" Kabal sputtered excitedly, as he dashed in out of nowhere

"Lemme guess Kabal you're getting stoned again with Smoke's pot, right?" Aela deadpanned, Kabal nodding up and down really fast. "Good God, the VG Stock Market is higher than the gold coin storage in the Federal Reserve!" Neyla exclaimed, reading the  
/Video Game Post newspaper just as Rose of Sharon Cassidy and her friend Sarah Bryant walked over

"Hey guys, how's it going?" Sarah asked, blowing a bubble of her cherry bubble gum. "Watching the sun rise on 16-bit Beach and drinking Majora's Malts on a warm Monday morning. Can it get any better than this?" Neyla asked thoughtfully, Aela chuckling  
/and scratching Neyla's armpits, Neyla giggling and purring warmly.

"Morning, ladies! Here's the daily paper!" the Paperboy called, tossing a paper into their direction, Neyla catching it with her bullwhip. "Here's your tip." Aela called out, handing the Paperboy a blank check. "Gee, thanks a bunch Aela! Now I can finally  
/afford that new skateboard from Excitebike Emporium!" Paperboy exclaimed, driving off just as Dural rose out of the water walking past them

"He's still waiting to be fully modified. His vocal synthesizers were damaged during the Great Digital War of '93" Sarah explained, Neyla and Aela looking at each other and nodding in agreement. "Oh yes, those Doom Boys kept coming right at us like Rakks  
/from hell." Neyla agreed

"So, how's Aela's and Neyla's Diner coming along?" Sarah asked. "It's going fabulous. We're up to serving 1.5 million customers. We even got 5 stars from Capcom Monthly." Aela answered, her and Neyla doing a fist-bump just as Vectorman landed in his barge  
/ship. "wow. Now **that's** the man I want. Big, tall and green and a real killing machine. Mm-mmm, girls, he is one six million gigabyte man for me!" Sarah purred, luring the robot to her. "Sarah, you're a **lesbian**. You said  
/you were an A-1 man hater last time Crash dumped you" Neyla spoke harshly. "Eh, its not too late to grab one final slice of man meat before fully going lesbo" Sarah grinned, slithering over toward the shapeshifting robot

"My sensors are indicating strong pheromones coming from your body. Should I apply a synthesizer to reduce your sexual intentions?" Vectorman asked through his speech vocoder. "Not at all, big boy. So, what do you say about giving us lovely ladies a little  
/ride in your sweet-ass ship?" Sarah purred, licking the upper sides of Vectorman's shoulder. "Error. My programming forbids any female primitives to occupy my ship" Vectorman responded. "well… how about **you** program **me?** "  
/Sarah asked seductively, raising her breasts closer to Vectorman's visor. "Did you just make a sex joke?" Vectorman asked plaintively. just as a long dark limousine pulled up and out came President Albert Wesker, the multi-millionaire CEO of Umbrella  
/Corporation and President of the United Video Game States of America. Next to him was his elegant and pregnant wife Excella Alexandria Wesker.

"Good morning ladies, Miss Bryant, Vectorman. How are my citizens enjoying the luxury and freedom of this excellent country?" Wesker asked smoothly with his elegant silver-tongued New Zealand accent. "Albert darling, you still haven't picked out a name  
/for the baby." Excella reminded, rubbing her belly with pride. "So, Excella, you are looking slim and very sexy. How on earth do you do it?" Sarah asked. Excella giggled coyly and responded, "I'm on a diet with Captain Falcon's F-Zero gym class. I  
/think I'll have lost all the baby weight within a matter of days."

 **Later that night, at Aela's and Neyla's apartment…**

"What better way to spend the night then watching episodes of Tales from the Darkside with my best friends, all the junk food and drinks we can handle and its on Friday night!" Kelly chattered excitedly as Helga fluffed her pillow.

"Goodnight" Helga yawned, closing her eyes and beginning to snore. "Um, Aela, no offense to you, but can you tell Helga to snore a little more quietly?" Neyla whispered as Helga drooled on her pillow, snoring softly. "Shhhh! I can't hear what Mandrake  
/is saying!" Neyla hissed, chowing down on cheese puffs. "Hey! Don't get your cheesy hands all over my sleeping bag!" Sarah hissed. "Don't worry, it's fine. Besides you have a water bed, remember?" Neyla remarked. "Oh. Yeah I do have that, sorry, I  
/get kinda ditzy sometimes." Sarah said sheepishly. "I see how you inherited your cluelessness from your mom" Sly snarked in boredom. "Oh come on Cooper, lighten up. Doesn't the thrills of a good old fashioned Chiller Theatre episode make your fur  
/tingle?" Neyla asked seductively, rubbing Sly's lower half. "I wanna ride the pretty prancing pony…" Helga mumbled in her sleep, snoring.

"Ok, your sister creeps me out. I don't know which one is quirkier; Helga or Kelly?" Claire exclaimed just as Aela yawned loudly. "Don't tell me you're getting tired too!" Neyla hissed. "I know, I know, but… mmmm, this show is just so long, and I can  
/only stay awake for so long…" Aela yawned, her eyes growing heavier and heavier by the minute. Just then Carmelita opened a bottle of Mountain Dew and downed it down Aela's throat. Aela swallowed it and belched loud enough to cause a Bloatfly to collide  
/with a bug zapper. "I rest my case." Claire deadpanned. "Ok, this episode isn't making any sense at all. It's about this bigoted talk show guy and then he gets calls or something. What the heck's the twist?" Neyla griped.

"Maybe if you just be patient and wait, it'll reveal itself" Carmelita answered slowly, before nudging a snoozing Helga. "mmm… five more minutes, Mom" Helga mumbled, snoring. "C'mon Helga, scoot over." Carmelita moaned, Helga yawning loudly and unzipping  
/her sleeping bag so Carmelita could squeeze in. "Hey, one thing okay: touch yourself while in my bag, I'm getting the Lysol." Helga spoke. "Got it." Carmelita muttered sleepily as both drifted off to sleep. Pretty soon, a really campy 1950s b movie  
/was on so the girls decided to watch that too. Before long, everyone was sound asleep. Just then, Agent 47; the family butler and Aela's bodyguard entered the room. "47, there you are. Where inValhalla have you been?" Potema hissed softly, not  
wanting

to awaken the girls. "It's a long story. I'd rather discuss it when my client and her lady friends are awake from their slumber, if you don't mind me saying so" 47 replied eloquently in his smooth European accent. "Well, dinner's in the fridge, Balgruff  
/should be home by midnight tonight, also make sure to feed the Deathclaws before letting them out." Potema added, walking up to her bedroom. 47 sat on the couch where Claire slept, and gently patted Claire's head before covering her up with a velvet  
/blanket.

 **Later that same evening…**

 **10:45 PM, Central Standard Time**

The night was far from over, as 47 remained wide-awake and accurately alert as possible. The family Deathclaws were safe and secure in their cages for the night, Spyro and Sparx were out with Vectorman, the National Emergency Test System alarm went off  
/for a few minutes, but it didn't bother him nor the residents of the household. 47 got up, went over to the balcony and surveyed his massive supersized world-open domain. The lights in the downtown areas twinkled brightly as the Jet Moto Cruisers  
/sped down the streets. 47 also got a glimpse of Chernabog flying through the night sky before swooping down and grabbing a feral ghoul in his talons before devouring it instantly. _Not bad for an eleven foot tall Slavic demon_ 47 thought to  
/himself, impressed with the gargantuan beast's finesse. 47 then heard Aela snore softly before rolling over to the other side of her pillow.

 **The next morning, at Moxxi's Malt Shop…**

"well, good morning, folks! How are my favourite customers doing this fine morning?" Moxxi asked cheerfully as Aela, Neyla, 47, Carmelita, Sly, Maya and Axton were gathered at their usual booth. "Business is going splendidly well, Madeleine. How are things  
/in the fast food industry?" 47 replied pleasantly. Moxxi blushed lightly, chuckling. "Oh, you know exactly what to say to women. Tell me, has there ever been a Mrs. 47?" Moxxi asked, 47 giving her a knowing 'maybe' look. "He's engaged to Cindy Lennox."  
/Axton explained. "Oh, well that should be delightful, Cindy's a real sweetheart and she'd be perfect for this ever so handsome gentleman right here." Moxxi replied, giving 47 a pat on the shoulder. "Your compliments are generously appreciated, Madeleine.  
/I'll have the Mega Mushroom Hashbrowns, with the Fire Flower Frappe and five Majora's Malts for my associates" 47 spoke, accurately giving Moxxi the gang's order. "Comin' right up, sugar." Moxxi cooed, heading into the kitchen just as Excella and  
/Albert entered. "Well, what a coincidence. My wife here was deciding which tavern we'd head to for breakfast, and on the way down Konami Crossing, I couldn't help but see my favourite citizens socializing at one Moxxi's Malt Shop, so I said what the  
/heck and came in here. Ergo, what is the usual business for this fine group this warm, cool Saturday morning?" Albert asked eloquently, Excella giggling coyly. "Oh Albert, you sound oh so much like your cousin Arnold" Excella said, chuckling. "Now  
/wait a minute, is Arnold the one with the twin head or the one with the crab hands?" Axton asked.

"No, Axton, that's Alex and Armand. Arnold is the ventriloquist." Albert corrected. "Oh." Axton replied flatly. "Wait, I thought he was doing time in that creepy asylum" Neyla added. "Oh, don't get your fur all ruffled love, he's been successfully cured  
/by Dr. Zed and now works as a shoe salesman down at Diddy's Sneaker Shoppe." Excella answered. "Oh, Mr. President! What an honor to have you here again! Would you like the weekend special?" Moxxi asked, just walking in with the gang's order. "Oh,  
/Madeleine, don't be so formal. Just call me Albert." Albert replied warmly, Excella adding, "Um, the Mr. President is our eldest daughter Alexa. She is now the proud CEO of Umbrella Corporation." "Wait a sec, you addressed her as a Mr. Is there something  
/you need to tell me?" Axton asked, Maya nudging him in the crotch. "Axton!" Maya hissed, before turning to Excella. "Please excuse my husband. He's a bit of a wisecracker, if you get my drift."

"Oh, it's alright, Maya sweetie. Axton can joke about as many things as he pleases… **except** for my ever growing womb." Excella snarled, grabbing hold of Axton's shirt collar. "Um, dear? People are staring at us weirdly." Albert piped up,  
/calming his moody wife.

"Hey guys, what's shakin?" Conker slurred, walking in dazedly before belching obnoxiously. "Oh joy, if it isn't the town boozer. Just when on Earth are you ever gonna get sober?" Maya asked, getting a bit bored with the squirrel's unruly inebriated behaviour.  
/"Until my girlfriend Tawna comes back to me and those bureaucratic sons of bitches from the IRS give me ownership of my bar!" Conker shouted. "Um, Conker dear? I really don't think you'd have the necessary qualifications to babysit our child." Excella  
/replied sheepishly. "Oh yeah? What are you and Mr. hoity-toity President gonna do about it?" Conker snapped before gulping as 47 aimed his pistol at his head. "47…" Aela hissed. "I got this." 47 whispered, his eyes narrowing down at the intoxicated  
/rodent

"I'd immediately rethink about that if I were you unless you wish to join your ex-partner Freddy in the hereafter." 47 snarled, beads of sweat and panic dripping off of Conker's head. "Ok, ok, calm down dude. I'm outta here. You Agents give me the creeps"  
/Conker stuttered, running as fast as his legs could carry him. "All units put an APB for Conker Squirrel for drunk and disorderly conduct… again. Shoot to kill if necessary" Link spoke into his police communicator. "Geez, what is up with that furball?"  
/Axton asked.

"He's suffering from PTSD and shell-shocked syndrome from his experiences in the Digital Contra War back in '97. By the time the military doctors were finished with him, he was a nervous wreck. He had to be institutionalized at the mental ward for a minor  
/5 months before being released, only to be sent back after starting a riot at the Koopa Cabana. By now, he's been labeled as a menace to society and a dangerous anarchist." 47 answered, browsing through Conker's police dossier. "Where the hell did  
/you get that dossier?" Link asked. "eBay." 47 answered sheepishly. "hmm… ok. Move along, nothing to see here." Link replied stupidly, driving off on his Segway scooter

"Any word on Freddy, Carmelita?" Maya asked, the fox nodding after taking a sip of her Majora's Malt. "According to Dr. Zed, we found about six 5.56 bullets in his cranial skull and abdomen, and a massive head wound from the grand piano that was dropped  
/on him. We also discovered arsenic pills in his stomach, which may mean before the VGPD got a drop on him, he tried to commit suicide." Carmelita explained

"It'll be a matter of time before ol' lizard-breath tries something drastic now that Freddy's out of the way." Neyla murmured, taking a bite of her Goomba Burger. Just then their phones buzzed which could mean only one thing: **Work**

 **At the Shao Kahn Gaming Firm and Trade…**

"Look sharp this morning folks, especially the rookies. The high ¼ index closed up to 36 EXP points last night. Let's try to make that a public record, also try to keep up on the census of how much Mushrooms are being grown at the Mushroom Greenhouse.  
/Ok, let's go to work!" Shao Kahn announced over the intercom as the starting bell rang. "And we're off and running." Aela muttered as she activated her Commodore 64 and started working just as her colleague and college roommate Olga Gurulokovich came  
/up. "Ah, hello Comrade Aela. How is the business going this morning?" Olga asked in her heavy Russian accent. "Fine, just fine. I trust you and Jack finally got settled in?" Aela asked nonchalantly as she answered an urgent phonecall. "Oh, Aela, um,  
/your butler's here. He says he's here to handle your work." Claptrap jittered nervously as 47 gently nudged him out of the way. "Ah, if it isn't the Agency's most efficient hitman. Olga Anastasia Gurulokovich. A pleasure to finally meet you in person."  
/Olga spoke, curtseying as she and 47 shook hands. "47, personal butler and manservant to the Potema family and bodyguard to the first daughter Aela. A pleasure as well, to meet the KGB's first genetically engineered Soviet woman." 47 replied. "I think  
/we can start a wonderful friendship, wouldn't you agree?" Olga asked, taking a sip of her Wind Waker Water. "Most certainly, as long as your intentions are approved between me and my employers" 47 answered. "Ok, guys, investment in the Mojave Wasteland  
/is up 5.66%! Good job Aela! You're two steps closer to being Employee of the Month!" Shao Kahn announced, the workers applauding with approval. "Isn't the Wasteland governed by Caesar's Legion?" Olga asked curiously. "Indeed. They use fierce methods  
/of torture, intimidation, slavery and assassination to spread their madness across the globe" 47 answered.

"God, they're even worse than Freddy" Neyla commented, popping a handful of popcorn into her mouth while watching Annoying Orange on her laptop. "Would you mind plugging in some earphones, Constable?" 47 asked, Neyla nodding and swiping Claptrap's earphones  
/and plugging them into her laptop. "Try to touch them, insect, and you'll see what I mean by cat got your tongue. Now shoo!" Neyla hissed, Claptrap wailing as a trapdoor fell below him. "Annoying little creature, wouldn't you say?" Olga asked in amusement.  
/"Meh" Aela replied apathetically before yawning loudly. "Break time" Aela yawned, putting on her sleep mask and reclining her seat back and beginning to snore. "Does she do this **all** the time?" Olga whispered. "Mm-hmm. Aela and her sisters  
/both possess their mother's DNA" 47 answered quietly.

 **At Jigglypuff's Concert House…**

"Well… this officially sucks" Robin snarked as nearly **EVERYONE** in the auditorium was asleep except for Clayface, Agent 47, Batman, Wonder Woman, Chernabog, Mewtwo and Joker. "Yeah, maybe there should be like a warning sign right before  
/the show. Know what Im saying?" Clayface asked, Wonder Woman grunting in reply. Finally, Helga yawned and woke up. "My God, I haven't slept that long since Thanksgiving!" Helga yawned, rubbing the sleep off of her eyes before finally focusing on the  
/crowd staring at her. "What are you lookin' at?" Helga asked, 47 showing her the markered mustache on her face. "Eh, that's all right. It'll come out in the wash" Helga replied calmly, applying some makeup to cover it. "There, see? Everything can  
/be accomplished with just the right set of makeup and the proper procedures. I learned that from Krystal's Salon and Spa this morning. You know, you guys should really try the Sunday Special there. It is amazing! A full masseuse treatment, with optional  
/meditations, a hot tub for five, and get this: a videophone in the steam room! But, I'm sure you all have probably seen all that before. God, it's like you know, the longer I stand here and chat, the quicker time passes, so, what's up with all of  
/you guys?" Helga finally finished, as Wonder Woman was fast asleep. "… Way to go, Miss Chatterley. You finally knocked her out" Axton deadpanned. "Oops. Guess I should've let her have a word in edgewise, don't you think?" Helga asked sheepishly. "Mm-hmm"  
/FemShepard grunted, rubbing her six-month pregnant belly with anticipation as she munched on a beef taco calzone. "Ooh! A beef taco calzone? OMG, I adore those! You know, for a quick deal, you can get five more down at Mario's Deli. They are absolutely  
/delicious! You know, just the other day, me and Kelly recommended this to Sonya and Johnny, but Sonya politely refused, because, well, she's three weeks pregnant and, um, gastrointestinal bean food is rather bad for women with child. I learned that  
/when I had my first, I can tell you that. You know, I couldn't also help but notice that Captain Falcon's F-Zero Gym has a 50% discount on all jazzercise workouts, from classical to R&B. Not to be a bragger or anything, but jazzercise is my favorite  
/workout routine. I tried it during my first pregnancy, and now Im just taking a pregnancy test again to see if I can have another little bundle of joy with me and Sarah. But enough about me, Im pretty sure you wanna chat or shoot the breeze about  
/something or other, so, what's the buzz?" Helga finally asked as FemShepard snored and drooled on top of an exhausted Wonder Woman. "Miss Chatterley wins again" Axton snarked. "thanks Basil. I really appreciate this. Now where on earth is my butler?"  
/Helga asked, looking around for the ever so elusive assassin. "He's at the bar slapping a boozed drunk" Clayface answered. "Not anymore, he hung himself" 47 deadpanned, getting into the driver's seat of the car. "I'll see you at work tomorrow, Basil"  
/47 called, shutting the door and driving off. "so much for the night at the concert, huh?" Helga asked, 47 grunting in affirmation.

 **The next morning…**

"I'm telling you, 80's music is way better than the 90s music!" Axton exclaimed as he, Maya, Neyla, Aela, Lydia and Carmelita were shopping at the GameCube Mall. "Oh? How is that so?" Lydia asked curiously, raising her left eyebrow. "It just is! Ok, the  
/80s had the best and most popular singers: Michael Jackson, the Bangles, Steve Miller Band, REO Speedwagon, you know, the works! C'mon! How could all of you not notice that?" Axton asked. "eh, I'll remember that next time I take that pop culture quiz  
/down at Bianca's Parlor" Carmelita snarked. "Oh god, she gives me the creeps. Bianca's just as crazed and deranged as Tiny Tina" Neyla remarked, sipping her Mega Mana shake. "I know right? That creepy look in her eyes whenever she casts her mumbo  
/jumbo spells? Ugh, it made my skin tingle for weeks!" Maya piped up as Lady Jaye and Baroness walked up to them. "Hey guys! What's new?" Jaye asked, as she held her lover's hand while Baroness stroked her pregnant belly. "Well, we were wondering what's  
/new with you guys. So… what's the haps?" Baroness asked, unaware that 47 was watching their every move on his mobile phone.

 **At Nocturna's Shop**

"Hey! If you're gonna start doing an Andrew Lloyd Webber song, I'm outta here!" Axton snapped, Maya slapping him. "Oh? Someone doesn't enjoy the classical music of the most esteemed musical bard since Rodgers and Hammerstein?" Nocturna asked curiously.  
/"I prefer Chopin, Beethoven, Brahms, Sousa, Haydn, Mozart and Duke Ellington" 47 piped up. "well, Agent 47! What a pleasant surprise! I didn't expect to have the Agency's best agent in my shop today! So, how are you doing this morning?" Nocturna asked.  
/"I'm here to inform Aela and her mates that the tickets for their Blades of Steel game down at the EA Stadium has been processed and that the game will begin in approximately…" 47 started as Aela and the others' eyes opened rapidly and dashed out  
/in a flash. "… 35 minutes" 47 finished, not getting a word in edgewise. "Ah, customers these days. You just never know whether they're a-coming or a-going" Nocturna spoke nonchalantly, Conker burping in agreement before 47 shooed him away by aiming  
/his pistol at his head.

 **At the EA Stadium…**

"Conker Cola! Get your Conker Cola and Toadstool Tacos here!" the vending Securitron announced as it wheeled up and down the stadium seats as the Blades of Steel game was well underway. "My favorite part of the game is when the fighting starts" Neyla  
/chimed in excitement as she munched excitedly on her caramel popcorn. Sure enough, the enforcer zinged the puck at the goalie's head, the goalie retaliated by kneeing the enforcer in the groin. Total pandemonium erupted as the players were in a no  
/holds barred all out brawl, with the spectators cheering wildly and placing their bets. "Ok, I'll wager 500 bottle caps plus my current salary on the team captain" Arcade Gannon spoke, Rose of Sharon Cassidy scoffing and uttering, "Fat chance, nerdo!  
/I got 600 grand plus a Mega Mushroom on the goalie" "C'mon, knock his bloody block off, you wankers!" Neyla hollered, Aela rolling her eyes in amusement while Carmelita buried her face in embarrassment. "Has she done this before?" 47 asked curiously.  
/"Oh, believe me, there are so many times Neyla has made a spectacle of herself, I can practically write a much larger book than Freddy did when he made that shoddy autobiography of his" Carmelita remarked. The spectators then groaned in disgust and  
/booed at the security guards as they broke up the melee and escorted the injured and berserk players off of the rink. "Hey! They were just getting started! That ain't a fair fight, you pencil pushing sons of bitches!" Jacky Bryant hollered drunkenly,  
/hurling his wine bottle at the goalie's head. Glaring at the security guard next to him, he jabbed his glove into the guard's stomach. As luck would have it, another brawl broke out, this time between the players and the security team.

"Now **this** is good sports entertainment, Westmoreland. Nothing better than seeing a bunch of stoned, punch-drunk hockey players beating the tar and feathers out of hapless, lousy boys in blue" Campbell commented excitedly up in the studio  
/box.

"I'll second that, Campbell. And it looks like the Deathclaws are out on the rink as well, cleaning up the mess made from the fight. For those who enjoy the Bladers' famous fights, we have full length DVDs and VHS copies down at the gift shop on Section  
/H right across from Porky's Burger Barn" Westmoreland replied.

 **Meanwhile, at the Cyberball Dome…**

"So what exactly **is** Cyberball? How does it work?" Imperator Furiosa asked curiously as she and the others watched the android football players on the stadium. "Basically, the players hike the metal ball over to the goal while keeping it  
/at a cool temperature. If the ball overheats and explodes, then the opposing team gains points" Axton explained, before a whistle broke out and a fight broke out between the players and the goalies. "Oh, now we're talking! Alright, y'all, grab your  
/wallets and place your bets!" Sarge hollered excitedly, the Reds and Blues taking bets on the brawling players.

"Hey! Why can't I bet?" Grif asked, finding out his wallet was empty. "You cant, turd belly, because you're ineligible" Sarge answered, slapping him up the head. "Hey guys! How's it going?" Helga asked, delighted to see them as she and Sarah sat down  
/behind them. "well, well, if it isn't our good gal pals Helga and Sarah. How are you two fine madams doing?" Sarge asked politely, tipping his hat toward Helga, Helga blushing. "Oh, Sarge, always the charmer" Helga chuckled before Caboose walked over  
/and gave her a back massage. "Ooh, thanks Caboose. Mmm, I really needed that ever since I had Adeline" Helga moaned, moaning in ecstasy, almost on the verge of coming. "Um, she isn't doing what I think she's doing, is she Sarge?" Simmons asked nervously  
/as Helga's moaning grew louder and louder before she eventually climaxed. "mmmm…" Helga moaned tiredly as she fell fast asleep on Sarah's lap. "so, Sarah, you from around here honey?" Tucker asked lewdly, Sarah shushing him, not wanting Tucker to  
/wake up Helga. "Tucker! Let sleeping lesbians lie. It is very, very dangerous to try and wake them up" Church hissed

 **The next morning, at the GameCube Mall…**

"So, what's on our shopping list this time?" Axton asked, as he, Maya, Neyla, Lydia, Helga, Sarah, Akira, Jacky and Carmelita walked down the corridors of the mall. "well, Jacky and I really wanna head to ROB's Robot Emporium. We got a 15% discount on  
/a new upgraded Securitron for our apartment" Akira replied. "Huh, me and Sarah are gonna head over to Daisy's Nursery Nook to look for some new crib sheets for Adeline and the twins" Helga chimed in, rubbing her glowing belly and yawning sleepily.  
/"mmm, all those cravings are making me so sleepy… and so very horny" Helga purred, kissing Sarah passionately. "Babe, did you have vodka to drink for lunch today?" Sarah asked, Helga snorting in disbelief. "Heck no! I just had a Majora's Malt with  
/a mix of Gomorrah Grape Juice" Helga answered

 **Meanwhile, at the EA Sports Stadium…**

"This is the championship game of the night, fellas! It's the VGC Blades versus the Activision Armadillos!" Axton exclaimed excitedly as he, Maya, Baroness, Lady Jaye, Scarlett, Cover Girl, Lara, Neyla, Aela, Helga, Kelly, Carmelita and Catwoman sat in  
/their reserved VIP box and watched the championship game take place. Before too long, a fight broke out and the spectators erupted with tremendous applause and started betting like crazy. "Call my bookie, Zer0. I wanna place $450 Mushrooms on the  
/goalie" Axton ordered, Helga yawning and lying down on the queen sized bed. "Naptime" Helga murmured sleepily, getting under the covers. "Oh c'mon sis, this is the championship. You gotta stay awake, you just gotta!" Kelly pleaded, shaking Helga's  
/shoulder. But Helga was fast asleep, snoring softly and drooling on her pillow. "I give up" Kelly groaned, waving her hands in the air as Helga slept. "… Mmm, yeah right there, mmm… ohh… ooh that feels… sooo good…." Helga mumbled in her sleep as she  
/tossed to the other side of the bed and snored loudly. "Hey Helga? Helga? Hey, wake up" Maya hissed, shaking Helga's shoulder. "What?! I was having a really nice dream about me snorkeling with Ecco and the dolphins down in 16-Bit Ocean" "How's about  
/I canoodle with Sarah?" Axton teased jokingly before gulping nervously as he stared down the dual barrels of Helga's twin .44 Magnum revolvers. "Don't ever do that again." Helga hissed, before adding "One more thing: if you call me Big Boob Blondie  
/again, I'll smother you with my bra" "Geez, Helga seems pretty protective of Sarah, wouldn't you say?" Carmelita assumed, Helga snorting in agreement. "Well, I guess it's an obvious answer; Sarah's Potema's adopted stepdaughter because Potema was  
/best friends with Sarah's parents. But when they died, Potema adopted Sarah around the same time Kelly was conceived. But then Sarah's foster parents tried to take her back, so Potema took the case to court, and in the end Potema was given full custody  
/of Sarah, her foster parents were actually pedophiles that got arrested and sent to maximum prison for life, oh and Sarah's brother Jacky turned out to be gay and is dating Akira, who used to date Guile before Guile became romantically involved with  
/M. Bison while M. Bison had a sadomasochistic relationship with Vega because Vega had a stalker-like crush on Frieza, while Frieza had a relationship with Cell, but Cell dumped him because it turns out Cell is actually straight and semi bisexual,  
/but then Cell got a restraining order by Frieza's lawyer who blackmailed him for showing naked pictures of himself to the National Inquirer…" Carmelita jabbered before stopping. "That's three strikes for Miss Chatterley" Axton murmured, Maya slapping  
/him up the head.

 **The next morning, at 8-Bit Beach…**

"…Ever wonder why we're here?" Neyla asked, as Aela was tanning herself as she relaxed in her lounge chair as the sun bathed their bodies with light solar energy. "… were you watching Red Vs. Blue before bed again?" Aela asked nonchalantly as she was  
/reading her Leisure Suit Larry Porno magazine. "Aela, for God's sakes, quit soiling yourself with that tawdry magazine! It's not proper etiquette and it's very unladylike!" Neyla hissed, using her posh British accent. "oh, there you go again with  
/your Downton Abbey accent. You know, the BBC is looking for new cast members for Doctor Who" Aela commented sharply, Neyla chuckling coyly just as Carmelita got out of the digitized water. "Whoo! The water is just fresh as purified water! Just the  
/way I like it" Carmelita gasped ecstatically, shaking the water off of her fur. "You just **had** to do that, didn't you Ironsides?" Neyla snarked, Carmelita sticking her tongue out at her playfully. "Oh, will you two just get a room? My  
/God, you just cant stop with the passive-aggressive innuendos, can you?" Axton snapped, as he was surfing. "Don't surf too far soldier boy! Watch out for the sewer sharks!" Neyla called out, Axton shrieking like a girl and dog paddling like a madman.  
/"Neyla? Neyla, honey; the sewer sharks have been declared extinct for almost 5 years. There's absolutely **nothing** down there except fish, seaweed, anthropomorphic sea creatures, jellyfish, barracuda, octopus, you name it" Carmelita commented.  
/"…Oh. Well maybe scientists used DNA from the sewer sharks to clone DNA-generated copies of them, and they have them stored on a remote island in the middle of nowhere" Neyla babbled frantically. "You know, I think you've watched Jurassic Park a wee  
/bit too many times" Carmelita deadpanned. "Hey, I cant help it. I like dinosaurs. So sue me" Neyla retorted. "Boy, she got you there" Axton quipped, Carmelita bonking him on the head with a beach ball.

"Oh my god, do they sell anything **but** Aqua Pura? If I see one more infomercial about it, I'm going to scream" Maya hissed in annoyance as she slurped her Mojave Mana Soda. "Geez, Maya, with that super fast slurping, you could probably enter  
/and win an all-you-can-drink soda contest!" Axton boasted, Maya scoffing before belching loudly. "Hah! I'd tell those wimpy contestants to go slurp some irradiated water while I'm trampling their decaffeinated asses!" Maya snapped, chomping on a carrot.  
/"Did you just eat a carrot?" Neyla asked incredulously. "Yes. Do you think I look like Bianca to you?" Maya asked sarcastically. "um… nope. Not at all" Neyla quickly answered, digging her nose into her Pride and Prejudice and Zombies book. "well Captain  
/Falcon got me on this fabulous energy diet, and so far I'm just as sexy as that old-time slut Pauline!" Maya bragged, showing off her bodacious body to a couple of onlookers. "… has she been anywhere near the Vapor Vendor?" Neyla whispered, Axton  
/shrugging. "well, whatever she's on, I want it, 'cause it looks delicious, like Carmelita's sexy foxy pussy!" Otacon bragged as Carmelita shoved her shock pistol into his face. "One more peep out of you, and I'll put so many volts into you, you'll  
/go off like a Roman candle. Comprende?" Carmelita snarled, turning her shock dial to high voltage. "… um, honey? The safety is on. That's why it wont work" Neyla whispered, Carmelita immediately having an about face. "Can I at least zap him a teeny  
/tiny little bit?" Carmelita begged playfully. "NO!" Everyone but Otacon shouted. "aw phooey" Carmelita moaned, snapping her fingers in defeat. "Hahaha, nice try Ironsides, but sooner or later you'll find a target to practice with" Neyla chuckled,  
/ruffling Carmelita's blue hair. "… was that an innuendo?" Carmelita asked in curiosity, raising her left eyebrow. "… maybe, maybe not" Neyla answered mysteriously, before reading her Fifty Shades of Wesker book. "wow, Wesker's got it all. He has the  
/luxurious White House, a smoking hot wife, a multimillion dollar corporation, the presidency, a baby on the way, hell, I could go on and on about how great Wesker's got it. He's like the Donald Trump or Jay Gatsby of Video Game World" Axton exclaimed,  
/Neyla nodding in agreement. Just then a heavily tranquillized Olga staggered toward Neyla, collapsed to the sandy ground, and fell fast asleep, snoring loudly.

approaching. Olga quickly closed her eyes and went back to sleep, snoring softly just as soon as EVA opened the door to her room. EVA tiptoed over to the side of Olga's bed and checked to see if she was truly asleep. EVA listened to Olga's soft snoring,  
/her chest moving up and down from under the comforter, and her beautiful platinum blonde hair folded back and her eyes tightly closed. EVA noticed Olga's favorite teddy bear was on her nightstand and EVA knew there was absolutely no way Olga would  
/ever fall asleep without her stuffed animal. EVA placed Olga's bear under her left arm. Olga stirred briefly before seeing her teddy in her hands. Olga smiled childishly, laid back down and drifted off to sleep, sucking her thumb as she hugged her  
/teddy tightly. EVA smiled softly and watched the pretty Russian snore and dream. EVA leaned closer and kissed Olga's forehead before quietly walking out of the room and taking one last look at her sleeping angel. EVA smiled sweetly, placed her finger  
/to her lips, and shushed her quietly as she closed the door but left it a bit wide open.

 **Later that night…**

"Oh joy. It's Saturday night, and we're watching yet another campy, ridiculous story from Tales from the Darkside" Neyla yawned tiredly, guzzling a Vault 101 energy drink to keep herself awake. "Hey, c'mon, it's really good. Besides, it's about a fat  
/woman who has gluttony problems" Sly commented cheerfully, Carmelita yawning and closing her eyes, starting to snore. "… **oh**. Well, there's an ending I definitely did **not** see coming" Axton commented in surprise as he  
/and the others saw the character's stitched up carcass. "… Oh great. Now I cant finish my gelato. Thanks very much" Farkas spat in disgust, walking off. "… what's with him?" Neyla asked, as Aela was about to nod off. "MMghbrr…" Aela mumbled sleepily,  
/drool forming off of her lip. Sure enough, Aela plopped her head on her pillow and drifted off to sleep, snoring softly. "awww, isn't that cute?"

"… Olga, do you hear that?" Aela mumbled in her sleep, Olga snorting and opening her left eye. "Da. The soldier and the Siren are busy having midnight intercourse" Olga murmured tiredly, laying back down and trying to go back to dreamland just as the  
/sounds of 47's car was heard and the man himself entered the room. "… well, if it isn't the family retainer" Olga deadpanned, 47 sporting an amused smirk. "Touché, Miss Gurulokovich" 47 replied, walking past the sleeping Aela and Neyla and headed  
/into the east room just as he turned on the light, Cindy Lennox was waiting for him on the bed, wearing a skimpy pink lingerie outfit. "hello handsome. What took you so long? I've been so busy touching myself, I almost forgot you were coming" Cindy  
/purred softly, 47 taking off his suit and revealing his bare masculine chest. "Cindy, darling, you know I have to work at nights. I'm a butler/housekeeper/assassin. I have duties to both the Agency Corporation and my clients" 47 explained, leaning  
/closer to his elegant fiancé. Cindy and 47 stared into each other's eyes for a few minutes before both immediately kissed and lied on the bed, having the best intercourse they've had in days, unaware that The Joker was recording it all from his iPhone  
/while sitting on a tree branch. "Classic 47. That's how it's done kiddies, that's how it's done" Joker grinned deviously, before leaping off and running off into the night just as Potema's car pulled in.

 **The next morning, at work…**

"Hey there, hi there, ho there! How's it going, boys and girls?" Joker asked cheerfully, popping by Aela's workplace. "Oh, hey! Did you catch the Miss Video Game USA last night?" Aela asked, Joker nodding. "Right-a-roonie! I got special dibs on Miss Australia's  
/stock exchange!" Joker answered, letting out his trademark maniacal laugh before the cocking of a pistol was heard and Joker came face to face with 47. "Hello Joker. Mightn't I ask what brings you to socializing with my client?" 47 asked questionably,  
/his finger squeezing closer and closer to the trigger. "Oh, Baldy, c'mon, always with the guns and the hard questions? Have I done anything wrong lately? Nope! Well, except for wily old Freddy, except he's been stuffed permanently that is. But enough  
/about me, I heard you are about to tie the knot with Miss Cindy Lou Who Lennox" Joker teased, 47 giving him a menacing glare, Aela pulling him back. "47, don't. You promised you wouldn't kill anyone in the office" Aela reminded, 47 exhaling and holstering  
/his pistols. "There, that's much, much better" Joker replied in relief, 47 staring at him. "I'm watching you Joker. Step out of line and you'll know what will happen" 47 warned, as he walked off. "…boy, he's more stern and stone-faced than Batsy unlike  
/that pompous oaf Captain Falcon" Joker bragged. "Amen to that" Olga deadpanned, taking a slurp of her coffee.

 **Later that same evening…**

"Oh sweet Mother Russia, I am exhausted!" Olga yawned, collapsing on her sofa as EVA played Candy Crush Soda Saga on her iPhone. "wow, more Cypher drones? Mmm, Snake's been a busy boy" Huntress quipped teasingly just as Wonder Woman walked in

 **Later that same day…**

"Coming to bed, Albert?" Excella called from the bedroom, as Wesker himself overlooked his vast domain from the window of his Oval Office. "Yes dear" Wesker answered, deciding it was time to call it a night just as the Secret Service guards guarded the  
/front doors to the bedroom when Agent 47 approached them. "What business do you have with The President and the First Lady at this time of night, 47?" Agent Jones asked sharply. "I have confidential information from an anonymous source regarding the  
/circumstances of Freddy's demise" 47 answered, Agents Jones and Turner looking at each other before the doors opened and Wesker himself appeared. "Ah, 47. How nice to see you this evening. How can I be of assistance?" Wesker asked politely before  
/facing his agents and adding, "It's alright gentlemen, I can vouch for the Agency Corporation's most astounding agent" "Yes, sir" Jones complied, Turner complying with a silent nod. "Now, the information please" Wesker added, 47 handing him the envelope.  
/"I'll have my men in the VGPD division begin work on the case immediately. Have a pleasant evening, 47, and give my regards to Potema for me" Wesker added, recalling his long-time friendship with Balgruff in college and Wesker being best man at Balgruff's  
/and Potema's wedding and was present at the baptism of Aela, Kelly, Helga, and Sarah. 47 got into his Lexus car and drove off into the night, passing by the Powder Gangers and Viper Gunslingers making drug deals before VGPD beat cops James Cools and  
/Mike Hardy approached them. "Well, well, look what we got Jimmy; the druggies and junkies of the evening" Hardy said sarcastically, one Powder Ganger whipping out a switchblade before Cools shot him in the leg and head. "Alright you mugs, raise 'em,  
/and I mean all of 'em, less you wanna be in the morgue with your boss Freddy!" Cools barked, the thugs immediately surrendering just as the local bounty hunter Deadshot targeted the crooks in his sights and blew their heads off with his mounted 9mm  
/wrist cannons. "Thanks a bunch, Floyd!" Cools hollered, Deadshot saluting before rappelling off the roof. "Those Task Force X showoffs are a real run for our money, don't you think, Hardy?" Cools asked, Hardy whipping out a cigarette, lighting it  
/and taking a puff before nodding. "I mean, for real, how the hell does that bible-thumping pencil pusher Waller get control of some of the most ax-crazy, loose cannon psychopaths in this goddamn city?" Cools wondered, Hardy shrugging. "I just don't  
/know, Jim. I don't know. But what I **do** know is that Flagg and his mooks better stay the hell outta Bald Mountain Church unless they wanna incur the wrath of a hundred foot tall demon with some funky necromantic mumbo-jumbo powers!"  
/Hardy snapped, referring to the city's necromancer and town vigilante Chernabog, a massively powerful and very intimidating, 100-foot-tall Slavic demon. His eyes glowed like yellow balls of fire, his wings were sharp and can stretch up to a hundred  
/times, his height and bulk was enough to make any wannabe criminal run in terror, and he was very infamous for his secret rituals he conducted late at night in the cathedral of the abandoned Bald Mountain Church which serves as his solace and his  
/alone, lest anyone with the guts and willpower dared to visit the demon. Chernabog was also rumored to have the ability to summon ghoulish spirits from beyond the grave and can make them appear and disappear at will. It was also noted that Chernabog  
/can also resurrect the dead, but only if the person requesting said resurrection would give him something valuable in return, such as jewelry, gold shillings, and whatnot. What the demon strongly forbade was the bargaining of one's soul, since that  
/is the business of Chernabog's constant rival and mortal enemy, Neron, the so-called Lord of Hell. A truly malicious, vile and sadistic devil, he resides deep in the dank underground sewers, where it is guarded by his deformed and heavily grotesque  
/demon slaves. Neron was known for his greed, vast cruelty, despicable manipulation, his burning hatred for humans, and his pettiness. He mostly appeared as a tall, blond man with burning green eyes and dressed in a 19th century black suit with a red  
/rose. To some, Neron played fair and acted like a noble demon to his victims, but however to others, he took their souls and brought upon them unbearable misery with gruesome pleasure, dooming them to a nightmarish existence as his slaves, forced  
/to do his villainous bidding until the Lord of Lies decides he or she has outlived his or her usefulness and nobody ever knows what Neron does to those who would dare fail or anger him. Neron has seen Chernabog as a worthy opponent, but overtime,  
/Neron has grown inexplicably jealous with rage over Chernabog's acceptance and praising by the citizens, whilst Neron was feared, scorned and hated, regarded as a liar and a false prophet, branded as a murderer and a monster, and eventually banished  
/to the sewers after a devastating fight with Chernabog on the former Bald Mountain before it was disintegrated by Chernabog's powers. And should Neron ever return to civilization, the penalty would be death by burning on the stake. In compensation,  
/Wesker gave Chernabog ownership of the Bald Mountain Church, which originally, was Neron's cathedral where he deceived and tricked people, masquerading as a priest who gave them blessings, but in reality, he telekinetically stole their souls and transformed  
/them into stale, decaying corpses. Since then, Neron dwelled silently in the murky slimy waters of the sewer, patiently waiting for the day he would finally defeat Chernabog and resume his plans to turn the entire city into his personal graveyard  
/and the one soul he coveted most of all was Wesker's unborn child. Neron longed greedily and fiendishly to steal the unborn infant's soul, but he eventually abandoned the plan, because he knew that Wesker's wife would be heavily protected, and Chernabog  
/himself would be there and would react rather savagely should Neron present himself. Another plan doomed to failure, Neron thought in disgust, raising his blazing eyes to the heavens, cursing the sky in vain, before meditating in the quiet, retching,  
/darkness of the sewers as he called upon his necromantic powers.

 **Later that same night…**

"Tales from the Darkside again? Seriously, you guys, don't you watch anything creative or interesting?" Axton complained, as he, Maya, Carmelita, Neyla, Aela, Helga, Kelly, Sarah, Olga, and EVA sat down in the lounge room watching yet another campy over-the-top  
/B-horror TV show.

"… I've been thinking again" Axton murmured, Nux and Slit looking at each other in horror. "Oh dear God…" Immortan Joe moaned, apparently showing his disdain for the snarky commando's sarcastic thoughts. "… What if War Boys could somehow morph into War  
/Men using their gluteus maximus?" Axton asked, the War Boys staring at him strangely. "Did you drink out of the War Rig again, son?" Rictus Erectus asked, raising his eyebrow. "Hey, c'mon, dude! The Aqua Cola tastes just like regular cola!" Axton  
/retorted, Immortan Joe rolling his eyes. "Stay out of the Mother's Milk, commando! That is for War Boys and breeders only! If you want it, you'll have to get permission from Imperator Furiosa" Immortan Joe ordered, Axton gulping as the Warlord of  
/the Wasteland stared him down with his burning eyes. "Y-y-yes sir" Axton shivered, running off, shrieking like a banshee. "… He's more crazy than you are" Rictus commented, Max giving him a disbelieving glare. "… Shut up, numbnuts" Max snarled, as  
/he got into his Interceptor Pursuit Special and headed for the racetracks where the annual Outrun 5000 Championship Races were about to begin.

The race arena was jam-packed with frenzied, ecstatic crowds as everyone got in their seats as Immortan Joe made his way to the VIP box where, per every race, he would say a few words to start the event. "Citizens of Video Game City! Rev it up for the  
/one, the only, Immortan Joe!" Master Hand announced, the crowds chanting the Warlord's name as Immortan Joe himself approached the front. He raised his hands forward to silence the cheering masses, then brought the microphone up to his mask to speak.  
/"Once again, we send off our mighty Pursuit Vehicles to compete in a 20,000 mile race for guzzoline, credits and high produce. Once again, I salute my Road Warrior, Max Rockatansky, and I salute my half-life War Boys, who will ride with me eternal,  
/on the highways of Valhalla" Immortan Joe announced, the crowds cheering. "Here comes the religious part" Neyla commented. "I AM YOUR REDEEMER! It is by my hand, you will rise, from the ashes, of this world!" Immortan Joe shouted dramatically, the  
/crowds cheering with thunderous applause, Immortan Joe silencing them again as Ms. Moxxi stepped out near the race line with the flare gun.

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls… Drivin' time's here" Ms. Moxxi announced, a War Boy blowing on the horn as Moxxi fired the flare gun. "Let the races begin!" Immortan Joe hollered, the War Boys whooping in a crazed frenzy as they drove down the  
/long highways like guzzoline-addicted maniacs. "Immortan! Immortan Joe!" Neyla hollered, trying to get the Warlord's attention by showing her tattoo of the Immortan's logo. "Who is that smeg making that spectacle in the stagebox?" Rictus asked, Immortan  
/Joe recognizing the mischievous anthropomorphic British cat instantly. "It's the woman from Interpol! Bring her and her friends up to the VIP box! They will be my guests of honor during the tournament!" Immortan Joe ordered, Rictus and The Ace obeying  
/as a few War Boys, including Nux and Slit, escorted Aela, Neyla and the others into the VIP box where they came face to face with the fearsome Warlord of the Wasteland himself. "Bow, do it, now" Neyla hissed quietly, the others immediately genuflecting  
/to him. Immortan Joe nodded in satisfaction. "Arise, citizens. You are honored to be in my presence. Come, sit by me, enjoy the festivities" Immortan Joe beckoned, ushering them to sit at the oddly designed post-apocalyptic chairs as they watched  
/the racecars on the viewscreen above them. Neyla yawned widely, closed her eyes and started to snore, purring in her sleep, with Rictus gently scratching her ears, Neyla purring even louder.

"…Mmmm, a little lower…" Neyla mumbled in her sleep, purring. Rictus immediately made an about face and decided it would be for the best if he let Neyla dream on instead of bothering her while she slept. "Excuse me, uh, Mr. Immortan Joe, sir? Why do you  
/have that gas ventilator mask thing on your face?" Sarah asked politely, gulping nervously as Immortan Joe stared at her. "It's a long story my girl, perhaps way before you were born" Immortan Joe spoke through his mask. "Well, in the beginning, the  
/Minecraftsmen discovered this country, then the Pilgrims came, and then the Pre War began as soon as Video Game City was about to be constructed, then came the Great War which had all sides of the country fighting Wolfenstein and Transylvania. But  
/the Digital Wars was our biggest event, not only did we successfully drive the tyranny of Team Rocket away from our mighty country, we unveiled our greatest landmark and still we await all species, kinds and races of new citizens to emigrate to our  
/land" Wesker spoke proudly, Immortan Joe nodding in recognition.

"That's quite the story, Mr. President" Slit deadpanned, Wesker chuckling. "Indeed it is, War Boy, and it gets better every time I tell it. One day, I will tell my new daughter the story of the beginning of our country, and she'll tell it to her children,  
/and her children before them…" Wesker continued, Aela yawning in boredom before snapping herself awake. "Whatever happened to former President Oak?" Immortan Joe asked curiously. "He died of dementia and excessive cases of Alzheimer's. He was confined  
/to the mental asylum after resigning from the White House"

"Or maybe he faked his death, moved to Skyrim, and worked as a medicine man/storyteller and will return should Team Rocket ever, EVER return again. But that sounds a tad bit crazy, right?" Axton said, chuckling a bit, ignoring the weird looks everyone  
/gave him. "are you stirring up trouble with that mouth of yours again, son?" Commissioner George Stacy asked, sitting in the VIP booth, smoking his trademark pipe. "Nuh-uh, Pa. Just askin' about what's goin' on in the world today, that's all" Axton  
/explained. "Well, do your old man a favor and quit spreadin' rumors about those heathens from Team Rocket, y'hear? Their age has long since passed and now everything cant possibly go wrong" Stacy said before a thunderous explosion erupted from Pallet  
/Town. "what in the devil?!" Wesker shouted, everyone panicking as Immortan Joe tried to calm the audiences down as Aela, 47, Neyla, Joker and the others headed to Pallet Town to investigate.

"well, so much for the 20,000 mile race, huh?" Joker joked teasingly, as the slightly reformed Clown Prince of Crime jumped over a lake of radioactive water as the Gamers' Gang which consisted of Aela, Neyla, Kelly, Axton, Maya, 47, Sarah, Joker and Huntress.  
/Batman was the team handler and Wesker supervised their activities. "Tell me about it. Oh god, I sure hope Red and everyone else is alright. I just hope Professor Eastwood isn't doin' any of his crackpot experiments again" Kelly said as they finally  
/reached Pallet Town and came across a horde of mutated Charmanders. "uh… does this seem weird?" Axton asked, his lower hand reaching for his pistol holster. "No! The law says you'll be charged a $1,200 ticket if you shoot or harm a Pokémon!" Kelly  
/warned, Axton immediately nodding and pushing his pistol back into his holster. "we should probably bring 'em over to Dr. Zed. He's the one who knows how to deal with this kinda stuff" Joker suggested, Aela agreeing as the ICU evacuated Pallet Town.

 **To Be Continued..**


End file.
